Hey there, writing rockstars! 👋 The discord Writer Fuel group voted and this was a blog post everyone wanted... So, let's talk about that pesky piece of writing that's probably giving you night sweats right now – your book blurb. You know, that thing that makes you want to hide under your desk and eat an entire package of Oreos? Yeah, that one.

Listen up, because here's the tea: You might have written the next "The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo," but if your blurb reads like a grocery list, readers will scroll right past your masterpiece faster than you can say "plot twist." But don't worry, my creative companions – I'm here to spill all the secrets of blurb-writing success!

In this tell-all guide, we're diving deep into:

• The three types of blurbs you absolutely need (and why each one matters)

• Genre-specific strategies that'll make your book shine brighter than a disco ball

• Exercises that won't make you sweat (much)

• The mistakes that'll make readers run (so you can avoid them like that ex who still has your favorite sweater)

The Three Essential Types of Book Blurbs

(Yes, You Need ALL of Them!) 

 1. The Back Cover Blurb (150-200 words)

AKA: Your Book's Speed Dating Profile

Purpose: To make bookstore browsers fall in love at first sight

Target Audience: Those gorgeous readers who know nothing about your story (yet!)

This is your elevator pitch, darling, and it needs to work harder than a coffee maker on deadline day.

You need:

• A hook that grabs readers like a sample sale at Saks

• Your main character's situation (make us care!)

• Stakes higher than your caffeine intake

• A taste of the journey (but don't give away the goods!)

• The perfect genre cocktail

Writing Exercise:

Write three different opening sentences:

1. Character-focused (make them unforgettable)

2. Situation-based (make it juicy)

3. Thematic (make it meaningful)

Pick the one that makes you go "YASSS!" and build from there.

 2. The Online Retail Blurb (300-350 words)

AKA: Your Book's Instagram Story

Purpose: To make online shoppers smash that "buy now" button

Target Audience: Readers hunting for their next book boyfriend/girlfriend/adventure

This is where you can get a little extra (in a good way!).

Include:

• That killer hook (see above, but make it fashion)

• Character depth that makes reality TV look shallow

• World-building that puts HGTV to shame

• Genre treats your readers crave

• "Perfect for fans of..." (name-drop like a pro!)

 3. The Query Letter Blurb (100-150 words)

AKA: Your Book's Business Power Suit

Purpose: To make agents and publishers fight over your manuscript

Target Audience: Industry pros who read more queries than you have shoes

Keep it:

• Professional (but not boring!)

• Genre-savvy (show you know your stuff)

• Unique (but marketable)

• Polished (like your best interview outfit)

Genre-Specific Writing Workouts (No Gym Membership Required! 💪)

Romance Writing Aerobics

1. The Meet-Cute Marathon

   Write three different ways your characters could meet in one sentence each

   Circle the one that makes you smile (or fan yourself)

   Now write three different ways this meeting goes hilariously/deliciously wrong

2. The Chemistry Lab

   List 5 unique characteristics of each love interest

   Create 3 scenarios where these traits clash beautifully

   Write a one-sentence sparks-fly moment using these clashes

3. The Trope Tango

   Pick your main trope (enemies-to-lovers, fake dating, etc.)

   Write three unique twists on this trope

   Blend it with a secondary trope for extra spice

 Mystery/Crime Scene Investigation

1. The Red Herring Relay

   Create 3 suspicious characters

   Give each a compelling motive

   Write a one-sentence clue that points to each (but could mean something else!)

2. The Detective's Diary

   Write your detective's biggest strength

   Now write their fatal flaw

   Create a case that specifically challenges both

3. The Clue Collection

   List 3 unusual pieces of evidence

   Write how each could be interpreted two different ways

   Create a shocking connection between them

 YA Reality Check

1. The Voice Verification

   Write the same scene in three different voices

   Test it on actual teens (bribe with pizza if necessary)

   Keep the version that makes them say "that's so me"

2. The Hashtag Challenge

   Create three trending topics your character would use

   Write their social media bio

   Draft a viral post that starts their trouble

3. The Friend Zone Frontier

   Map out the school/social hierarchy

   Place your character somewhere unexpected

   Create three alliance-shifting moments

 Sci-Fi Space Training

1. The World-Building Workout

   Write three unique aspects of your world

   Create everyday problems these aspects cause

   Solve one problem in a way that causes two more

2. The Tech Test

   Invent three pieces of future tech

   Write how each can go terribly wrong

   Create a character who loves/hates each one

3. The Humanity Hub

   List three ways your sci-fi world mirrors current issues

   Write how regular people deal with extraordinary circumstances

   Create a personal stake in the larger conflict

 Middle Grade Monkey Bars

1. The Giggle Generator

   Write three funny situations

   Add an unexpected twist to each

   Test them on actual kids (warning: brutal honesty ahead)

2. The Adventure Assembly

   Create three obstacles your protagonist faces

   Make each one sillier than the last

   Add a life lesson (sneakily!)

3. The Friend Finder

   Design three unique sidekicks

   Give each a special skill

   Create a situation where they must work together

🚨 Emergency Blurb Rescue Squad! 🚨 

When Your Blurb Goes Bust: The Rescue Guide

Symptom 1: The Snooze Fest

• Emergency Fix: Start with your second paragraph. First paragraphs are often warm-ups in disguise!

• Quick CPR: Add a "But when..." moment that changes everything

• Prevention: Write your blurb like you're telling your most dramatic friend about the book

Symptom 2: The Kitchen Sink Syndrome

• Emergency Fix: Delete everything but your three favorite sentences. Build from there.

• Quick CPR: Focus on ONE main conflict, not your seventeen subplots

• Prevention: Pretend you're paying per word (like those old-school telegrams)

Symptom 3: The Genre Identity Crisis

• Emergency Fix: Read the top 5 blurbs in your genre right now. Right. Now.

• Quick CPR: Add two genre-specific buzzwords your readers crave

• Prevention: Create a genre-specific checklist and stick it to your forehead (or desk)

Symptom 4: The Spoiler Alert

• Emergency Fix: Delete anything that happens past the 25% mark of your book

• Quick CPR: Replace specific plot points with emotional stakes

• Prevention: Write your blurb before you finish the book (gasp!)

The Emergency Blurb Template (When All Else Fails)

1. [Intriguing Character Detail] + [Everyday Situation]

2. But when [Inciting Incident],

3. [Character] must [Action] before [Stakes].

4. If only [Complication] wasn't standing in their way...

The 911 Checklist

• Does it start with a bang? ✨

• Can you read it in one breath? 🫁

• Does it promise genre-specific goodies? 🎁

• Would it make YOU want to read more? 📚

• Did you avoid spoilers like your ex at a coffee shop? ☕

Remember: If your blurb's not working, you're not failing – you're just one draft away from fabulous! Keep these emergency tips in your back pocket (right next to those emergency chocolate stashes), and you'll never be stuck with a blah blurb again!

The Last Word (Because We Always Need the Last Word!)

Remember: Your blurb is like your book's best outfit – it needs to be tailored to the occasion, fitting for your genre, and fabulous enough to turn heads. So, take these templates, examples, and exercises, and strut your stuff on those retail platforms like you own them (because soon, you will!).

Now get out there and write blurbs so good, they'll make other authors ask for your secrets.

Until next time, keep writing, keep slaying, and never, ever forget that your story deserves to shine!

💫 Sassy Writing Coach

P.S. If anyone needs me, I'll be over here working on blurbs and stress-eating chocolate. It's called balance, darlings!

(c) copyright Cassie Newell